Living with OCD: Or How I stopped Worrying and Loved Chaos

Hello All,

This is my first blog post, well my first blog ever. I know, everyone has them, right? So, what makes mine different? Honestly, not much. I know I'm far from ordinary, so perhaps that helps. Listen, if you're still here reading this, then clearly I have your attention. Or least, you have yet to open up another tab for Tinder, Twitter, Facebook, Twinderbook, whatever the hell kids love today. I say kids, because I'm 34 years old. Last I checked, I was 21, 30 lbs lighter; with a full head of hair, and no beard. I suspect I recently time traveled and all that changed upon my arrival. Further testing is required. Hmmm. Anyway, today, I'll be talking about one thing many people have heard about, but few actually understand. So strap in, or stay seated, or standing. It doesn't matter.
 O.C.D. or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is defined by Wikipedia as "mental disorder where people feel the need to check things repeatedly, perform certain routines repeatedly, or have certain thoughts repeatedly." Interesting. Yes, and no. OCD for most people, is a throw away line. Something they say as a joke. They might make a comment like, "I have all of The Golden Girls on dvd and, I'm OCD about owning all of them." No. First off, "Golden Girls", really? Second, have you not heard of digital media? Third, simply collecting an entire series where Bea Arthur struts around in 80's shoulder pads is not OCD. Perhaps you celebrate the entire collection and therefore want all of them. OCD is far more complex, maddening and debilitating. I know, I have it. Allow me to give you an example in the below paragraph. (Motions hand to below paragraph and smiles.)
My form of OCD is a wonderful combination of routine, anxiety, pervasive thoughts, cleaning, and proper placement of surroundings, allowing me to feel at ease or else! "Wow Nick!" you're saying. By the way, I'm Nick. No, Don't get up. Pleasure meeting you. "That's a lot of stuff." Yes it is. But, much like Connect Four, "Get three in a row and go for one more. Go for it. Connect Four!" Sorry, it's all connected. 
You see, there needs to be an external catalyst that drives an event. Something, like I don't know, vacuuming. Ok, I need to vacuum. Thought is generated. Let's say I pick a day to vacuum. Saturday. So, I have a thought, and a day or routine. Let's say I did this for the first time ever. Like, I just came into existence, someone handed me a Dyson, which are nice, and I vacuumed for the first time ever on a Saturday. Ok. So next Saturday rolls around and I do it again. And again the following Saturday. I've just set up a routine. Let's say another Saturday comes, and for whatever reason, I can't vacuum. I'm not home, I'm running errands, or I got locked inside the car again. Whatever the case, I can't do it. That one thought, because I'm looking to establish a routine, now becomes pervasive. It sits in my head, like background noise. Growing and growing. 
Or maybe it's a monster, saying "feed me." I assume the monster speaks English since I only speak English. Yea, four years of high school French class for nothing. Thanks school! So, now, that constant thought now triggers anxiety. My thoughts start racing, I can't focus and that damn English speaking monster, we'll call him Phil, keeps getting louder. All I can think about is vacuuming. It's madness! Sorry, I mean OCD.
 So, that is, in a nutshell, or paragraph(s), or nutshellgraph, is what I experience every day. There are many other thoughts, routines, and triggers, but I wanted to ease everyone in. Like a gentlemen. So, this is just to start. Join me next week, or time I write to further delve into OCD, me and Dupree. Kidding, I can't stand Owen Wilson. Luke Wilson is a better actor. But, I digress.

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