Enter the Dragon

“Be like water making its way through cracks. Do not be assertive, but adjust to the object, and you shall find a way around or through it. If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves. Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.” - Bruce Lee

Yea, Bruce Lee. We all know him. Master and originator of Jeet Kune Do and overall bad-ass who has yet to be surpassed, to this day, with regard to said bad-assness, at least in my opinion. If you have the opportunity, look up the interview where he states this quote. I believe it's on Youtube or Vimeo, or some other form of streaming service. You will find it to be a rewarding experience, much like pressing your ass cheeks against the wall of a glass enclosed shower for all outside to view.

Search: "Pressed Ham"

 So, yea, be like water, it's something to reflect upon...well, for me. With OCD, as I've stated in previous posts, there's a lot of routine. And with that, a lot of inflexibility in regard to routine. 
Obsessive vacuuming. Yea, two words, which when put together sound entirely at odds and out of place to a "normal" person. It's like hearing "pickled blinking", or "stammered fornicating", or "fellated clowning" for the first time. Now, I just made all of them up, but I'm sure they do exist...somewhere on the internet. 

I vacuumed a lot. I mean, before  I went to work, if I had to the opportunity after I got home, and before bed. It. Was. A lot. It gradually worsened right before my wife left. Then she left and I knew things had to finally change. It's taking time and still continues to do so, but, right now, it's dropped substantially. Now, I'm lucky if I vacuum once every two weeks. But, something I never thought I could never stop myself from doing, is starting to happen. It's surprising and strange. It's because, I'm making a continued effort with myself and therapy. It's because I'm trying to be like water. I'm trying to be flexible. Never truly setting into a routine. Never truly succumbing to the OCD like I once did. For the first time in regard to my OCD, I'm trying. Some things you really can't break, like when you go to work, take lunch, go to bed, etc. They just are what they are. I know for me, routine, in regard to OCD is bad. I never truly realized how much it took over my life nor my wife's. The daily to weekly cleaning became routine. The routine became inflexible. The inflexibility contributed to the strain on our marriage. All bad. 

I'm learning to cope. I'm learning to sit with my anxiety and not feed Phil, the monster. I've got a long ways to go, and sure I'll fall, and make mistakes, and there are going to be good days and bad days, success and failure, but, all along the way, I'll continue to be like water. At this point, I have every intention to flow, not crash. 


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