Man, the things you learn about yourself when you pay someone else to listen. No, I'm not talking about a prostitute. Perv. I'm talking about a psychologist. Though, I believe a lady of the evening would be much cheaper in regard to my co-pay cost. Zing! Take that, health insurance!
So, after my first session, which mainly consists of you vomiting up everything about yourself all over a therapist, he came to an early assessment that while I do have OCD; I'm also driven. This, I know. But, this in turn, pushes my OCD even more. Now, there's nothing wrong with having a consistent drive. It's what, in my opinion, helps everyone in their day to day and life in general. Without my drive, I wouldn't be alive today. Let me explain.
You see, right after college, I kinda hit a series of bad luck, well, I think I'll just call it "no luck". I had my first post-college job as a Financial Service Representative, "Loan Officer", at a local credit union. I worked there for about two years until I was accused of illegally aiding in wire transferring account member's funds. Now, of course, I didn't do this, as my parent's raised me to be an honest person. The individual responsible had tried to cover his tracks by using me, and several other employees, to view the accounts under the guise of "Hey, can you help me look at an account I'm helping a member with?" Obviously, the last thing I think of, aside from improperly ending a sentence with a  preposition, is financial fraud. So, I was let go, regardless of my innocence, as the company needed to "Save Face".
Then, I had gotten another job, just to fill in the gaps, working at a local union. I was let go. I suspect due to my manager wanting to higher a relative. So, nepotism. Honestly, I didn't see myself there for the long run. Oh, then my long term girlfriend had finally called it quits in regard to our relationship. It had been ok for awhile, but still, another blow to me and my life. So, yea.
Things evened out for awhile, I was able to get a job as a Financial Analyst with IBM and things were going well. I met my wife, as she had been finishing up her senior year of college, and we began to date long distance, for 8 months, after she graduated and moved back to NJ. I then decided to ask her to marry me, she, of  course, said yes, and I moved down from Upstate NY to Southern NJ. Making the choice to leave my old life behind and starting a new one with her.
I was at my job with IBM for 3 years, then the housing market collapsed and the Recession hit. I lost my job in April of 2009. We were getting married that October. I was unemployed for over a year. Eventually, I got a job with Burberry as a Supply Chain Analyst and the rest is history up until this point in time.
So, sad run of stories, right? Yes. We've all got them, and I'm sure there are far worse out there. But, I'm a driven person. I did everything I could to get through these events in my life, and not have them break me; despite how disheartening they were. And yes, my wife was there to help get me through it as well. For which, I will always be grateful.  Over the years, I came to see my drive as my greatest strength. Now, I'm realizing that it's also my greatest weakness. It's an odd dichotomy. I'm driven to do both good and bad things, not realizing they were connected. Of course, this is purely surface level assessment, but at this point, it's something for me to think about.


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