Children of Men

The title is a direct reference to Alfonso Cuarón's 2006 film. If you haven't seen it, I suggest you do, as it's an incredibly somber science fiction tale. In broad strokes, it takes place in a future where women have become infertile, and reproduction is a thing of the past; slowly leading humankind to it's inevitable extinction. So, yea, somber. So, why am I using this film as my title? Easy. As someone who is afflicted with OCD, I have great concerns about passing on my DNA. The good, and the bad. And maybe, maybe I just shouldn't reproduce at all. I know, it sounds silly and overly dramatic, but I have my reasons. Let me be clear before I start, infertility is a serious and emotionally damaging medical condition. I am in no way, attempting to co-op anyone's pain or suffering for the purpose of this post.
Children. Yes, I would love to have them. I know, someday, my wife would as well. Maybe not with me. But, can I blame her?  Her concerns deal more with my OCD and how I would handle children. Which is one of the reasons I'm seeking therapy. But, honestly, my interactions with children have always been successful, and I'm not entirely sure as to why. But, they just have been. I'm able to read them books, from "The Little Engine that Could" to Stephen King's "IT", make jokes, do voices, fly them around like Superman, use puppets to amuse them, you name it, I've got no problem doing it. I'm a one man PBS show. But despite that, I have reservations. My concern lies with passing on me. My concern lies with passing on my OCD. Sure the child might be funny, they might be tall, they might have big ears or a cleft chin. But, they might also have OCD. It's something I've thought about, on and off, for a very long time.
You're probably thinking, "What about your parents?" Well, yes, they both have varying forms of OCD and anxiety. As I recall my childhood, it becomes more apparent to me. Both of them would obsess about little things here and there. As a kid, I dismissed it because they were my parents, and I knew nothing else. I don't blame them for passing it on. It wasn't intentional. But, despite not blaming them, right now, I feel I can't do that to my own child. At this point in my life, I'd know what to look for in regard to OCD. The symptoms and the signs. Hell, I gave my wife anxiety just from dealing with me and my OCD for years on end. That eats me up. I feel like a virus. I feel like a disease. So, yea, right now, I can't imagine giving it to a son or daughter, someone I would cherish and love the most, outside of my wife, and watch them experience what I've experienced. But, that's just my current state of mind.

Hopefully, with therapy, things will change.

Oh, I forgot to mention, as bleak as "Children of Men" is as a film, it ends with a sense of hope for humankind and it's future.

Sorry. Didn't mean to spoil the ending.

Honestly it's been out since 2006. You should've seen it by now.

Actually, you probably can find it in one of Walmart's many DVD/Blu-ray bins for $5.99 at this point.

Ladies, it has Clive Owen.

Gentlemen, it has...Michael Caine? From "The Dark Knight"?

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