Analyze This, That, These Those, Them, They, Their, The, Tuh: Scheduling a 2nd Session: The Sequel

Ehhhhhhhhhh. No, I'm not releasing gas. That, my dear anonymous readers, is me releasing a sigh of frustration. So, I mentioned how I'm seeking therapy. You know, speaking with someone about me and all of this, (motions hand around personal space), but, I've hit a road block. Honestly, since I think I'm funny, as does anyone who's seen me urinate while seated on a toilet, I'd be remiss if I didn't find humor in what I'm currently experiencing. So, to quote Heath Ledger: And. Here. We. Go.
Ok. I had my first session this week. Scheduling the first one was a challenge unto itself, as you simply cannot call, like a regular doctor's office, and get an appointment a week later. No. I had scheduled this meeting way back in the first week of January...for this February. Anyways, I went, laid out my deal/issues/questions/concerns for an hour. He asked questions, I asked questions. He looked at me, I looked at him. We talked, we laughed, we cried, we sat, we played Rock 'Em Sock Robots. It. Was. Fantastic. Like a first date. I say first date because we awkwardly kissed prior to parting ways. No tongue, though. I'm no whore. Kidding. That didn't happen. I think.
I get a call to schedule my next session or sessions the next day and...he can't see me until April. What a let down. I thought we had something. Yes. After The Oscars. After St. Patrick's Day. After Easter. After. Shit. So, I scheduled three sessions in a row, because, Momma didn't raise a man who does things once. Just ask to watch me clap. Hint: It's more than once. Anyway, two months? What? So, I went back to the drawing board or piece of crumpled paper. I tried contacting at least 10 therapists/psychologists/clinical social workers/psychiatrists within my insurance network. Of those 10, I was able to schedule several brand spankin' new appointments with only two. Dos. Deux. Both in February.
So, now it has become a numbers game. I'm not taking any risks. It's like speed dating, except, hey, here are my issues, questions, concerns, shall we date? Or no? No, ok. My point is, if you're going to look into seeking help, please consider that time needs to be taken to find the right suitor and for an actual timeline for scheduling appointments. If you don't, you'll be whoring yourself outside of a Wawa to any Southern Jersey 206'er that'll hear your problems. And, I believe most of them do not have the academic background that would make them a licensed therapist. By the way, that was a regional, South Jersey joke. Yay, obscurity.


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